You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
