So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
