Whats the glycemic index on semen?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
