All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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