I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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