One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
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