i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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