Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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