This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize