seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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