He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
