Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
