I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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