Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Can I color on your dick again?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize