what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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