there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
