you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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