I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm bleeding and have questions
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize