Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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