Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
