Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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