is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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