A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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