So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
