Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
