check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize