he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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