One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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