Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
its liver damage thursday
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
