exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
