Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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