gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
