so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
