Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
