Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize