My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Randomize
