He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
