There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
