Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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