I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
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