Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
