Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
