Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
