is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
