It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize