So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
