Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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