She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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