Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize