ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
