Having a random hookup so left but love u
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
