Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
