You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
