I wish I could punch you in the face.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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