return my video game
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
