dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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