my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
