the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
