one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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