I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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