im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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