It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
