I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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