Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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