i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
God, I missed his penis.
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