I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
