ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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