Is it normal to miss your booty call?
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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