420 ftw
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
