that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
