omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
