my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
