Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
